And so it begins…
Crack a beer, fire up your sleeper notifications, and prepare to gaslight yourself into thinking *this* is the year you win the league. That annual rite of delusion is back: it’s Fantasy Football Draft Season. You can practically smell the Red Bull, regret, and endless “what if I’d started him?” Sundays on the horizon.
Yes, there is *actually* an NFL game this month. The Hall of Fame Game kicks off July 31st, officially ending the dark ages of the football offseason. That means the real grind starts now: draft prep. Not the lazy kind where you rewatch last year’s highlights and assume Cooper Kupp is still a top five pick. Real prep. War room energy. Charts, strategy, smoke screens.
If you want to walk into your draft like you’ve already won it, here are 35 hard truths that separate the champs from the “I auto drafted and still made the playoffs” frauds.
**Rule #1: Know Your Scoring Settings**
PPR? Half-PPR? Superflex? These aren’t just nerd acronyms. They’re the foundation. Drafting like it’s standard scoring in a half-PPR league is the fantasy equivalent of playing Madden without knowing the controls.
**Rule #2: Understand Roster Structure**
If your league starts three WRs and two Flex spots, then RB-RB-WR is not gospel. Adjust your strategy to match your actual needs. It’s not rocket science, it’s math.
**Rule #3: Mock Draft Like a Psychopath**
Different slots. Different formats. Different strategies. You should be able to recite the ADP of 100 players in your sleep like it’s the Gettysburg Address.
**Rule #4: Tiers > Rankings**
When you’re on the clock, tiers help you avoid picking the 17th best RB when there’s only one WR left in Tier 2. Use them like lifelines.
**Rule #5: Bye Weeks Matter… Kinda**
Don’t let them steer the ship. But maybe don’t stack your top four guys with the same week off unless you’re into high-stakes October panic.
**Rule #6: Have a Plan, and a Backup Plan**
Zero-RB? Hero-RB? Go with what feels right for the room, but don’t improvise like you’re doing drunk karaoke. That rarely ends well.
**Rule #7: Know the Room**
You know your league mates better than you know your own family. Use that. Anticipate trends, target value, and snipe your buddy’s breakout pick just for the serotonin boost.
**Rule #8: Don’t Draft Blind**
Have a cheat sheet. A real one. Not that one from 2022 laminated with salsa stains.
**Rule #9: Don’t Panic When the Room Tilts**
A TE run shouldn’t turn you into a panicked raccoon digging through the trash. Let the madness help you.
**Rule #10: But Do Be Strategic About Runs**
If you sense the WR Tier 3 is drying up, grab your guy before it’s Chase Claypool season in Round 6.
**Rule #11: Don’t Draft a Kicker or Defense Early**
Do I really need to say this in 2025?
**Rule #12: Don’t Auto-Draft Unless You Hate Fun**
News breaks. Positional runs happen. Don’t get caught drafting three tight ends because you went to make guac.
**Rule #13: Watch the Draft Board Like It Owes You Money**
Your queue is not enough. Look ahead. Steal picks. Break hearts.
**Rule #14: Take Rookie Shots Late**
High upside, low risk. You want the next Puka Nacua, not the next Jarvis Landry in a walker.
**Rule #15: Avoid Your Own Handcuffs Early**
Let someone else waste a pick on AJ Dillon while you stash a Tony Pollard-esque upside play.
**Rule #16: Consider Stacking (Smartly)**
A QB-WR stack from a top-five offense can turn matchups into massacres.
**Rule #17: Check Week 17 Matchups (Advanced Move)**
Playing for championships? Know who gets Carolina or Arizona in Week 17. That stuff matters.
**Rule #18: Forget Nostalgia**
Julio Jones isn’t walking through that door. Draft for 2025. Not 2020.
**Rule #19: Fade Offseason Puff Pieces**
“Best shape of his life” should trigger your scam radar.
**Rule #20: Volume > Talent**
I’ll take the RB with 20 touches on a bad team over the RB with 10 on a good one.
**Rule #21: Target Pass-Catching RBs in PPR**
Duh. If you’re in a PPR league and you draft Nick Chubb too early, that’s on you.
**Rule #22: Draft WRs on High-Scoring Teams**
More touchdowns. More points. More fun.
**Rule #23: Mobile QBs are a Cheat Code**
They don’t need to throw for 300 yards. They just need 50 rushing yards and a TD.
**Rule #24: Don’t Draft Injured Guys Early**
They always “might be ready for Week 1.” Then they’re “day-to-day until Week 8.
**Rule #25: Know Coaching and O-Line Changes**
Schemes matter. Protection matters. Arthur Smith matters… unfortunately.
**Rule #26: Swing Big Late**
Leave the dusty WR4s to the boomers. Take the moonshot.
**Rule #27: Flex Value + Handcuff Potential = Jackpot**
RBs with roles *and* paths to starting? Gimme
**Rule #28: Stream Defenses**
Draft one with a juicy Week 1 matchup. Then hit the waiver wire like a savage.
**Rule #29: Final Picks = Lottery Tickets**
Stash potential breakouts. Cut them by Week 2 if needed.
**Rule #30: Don’t Announce Your Picks**
You’re not on ESPN. Keep it quiet.
**Rule #31: Track Your Needs**
Don’t be the guy with four TEs and no starting QB.
**Rule #32: Leave Room for Fun Picks**
Drafting your favorite sleeper keeps it spicy. Just don’t overdo it.
**Rule #33: Draft Your Beliefs, Not Just ADP**
If you believe in Tank Dell more than his ADP suggests, shoot your shot.
**Rule #34: Be Water, My Friend**
Adapt. React. Don’t be rigid. Drafts are chaos. Embrace it.
**Rule #35: Don’t Drink and Draft… Too Much**
There’s buzzed, and then there’s blackout-round-9-kicker drunk. Know the difference.
Fantasy Football is supposed to be equal parts war room and tailgate. Draft smart. Draft fun. And most importantly: don’t let Kyle win again. You know he’s already got a spreadsheet.





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